Life has been beautiful and sad and exciting and mundane. Starting in my early teens, I felt an intense inner sadness and a deep level of isolation. I had no desire to continue with my life. To self-medicate my pain, I turned to drugs and alcohol.
Quickly, things got out of control. I began facing consequences and those closest to me recognized my need for help.
Finally, on a chilly evening in October of 2014, I did the unthinkable. I surrendered and asked for help. My mom called a treatment center in Pennsylvania, they had a bed available, and I was on my way. Not only did I quickly learn about the disease of addiction, but I also learned about some ways that I would be able to continue my recovery once my treatment stay was over. For me, this included support groups and working with a therapist.
I completed my inpatient program and had a strong aftercare plan in place. One day at a time I continued to take the suggestions of those around me. I began to feel better mentally and physically and started to work on myself with the help of my family and peers.
Today, I have a bachelor’s degree and an MBA from Fairfield University. I now have over 8 years of continuous recovery. I will always encounter challenges and sadness on my journey, but that is life. I can now say I have also experienced a level of freedom and joy I had never felt before. I am so fortunate to be present through it all. I’m so grateful for all the people who have reached out a hand to me when I needed it and am honored to be that person for someone else who is struggling.
As I write this on another chilly day, I first will tell you I have never had a legal drink. My teenage and young adult years have been spent in recovery. My success in recovery is because of one thing: I have learned that continuous recovery takes continuous work.
When I first went to Pennsylvania, I admitted for the first time my powerlessness over alcohol. I realized I am a person with the disease of addiction who has an abnormal reaction once I put a drink in my body.
I decided to listen to the others who had an air of peace and happiness surrounding them. Slowly, but surely, I began to feel better. All these years later, I now work for that treatment center where I first learned recovery, Caron Treatment Centers. I continue to sustain my own recovery by listening to others who struggle with open ears and an open heart.
As I work with clients and others who struggle and seek recovery, I feel a wave of calm which will never subside. I realize I can be uniquely useful to others. Recovery is real. Recovery is possible.
