On Tuesday, December 10, 2024, we hosted Uri Berger, PhD, for our last Pathway Session of the year. The Zoom session was a success, as the Failure to Launch (FTL) topic is timely and there were plenty of good questions during the Q&A.
In our support group meetings, I have heard dozens and dozens of stories of young adult males who have failed to thrive independently of their parents. From my viewpoint, there are always co-occurring disorders underlying this predicament. Examples include depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, social anxiety, OCD, and trauma (both diagnosed and undiagnosed).
Uri started off the session with defining Failure to Launch, which is: 1) living with parents; 2) not employed or attending school; and 3) no disabilities (mental or physical) that would prevent someone from living independently. As defined this way, FTL is not a mental condition but a status, like being homeless, which negatively impacts both mental and physical health. Thus, FTL can lead to a downward spiral.
The connection of FTL with anxiety is a huge challenge, and the #1 factor in keeping individuals from becoming independent. The chldren living with FTL are many times non-cooperative, isolated, and non-responsive, in Uri’s words, which has led to research breakthroughts on treating the PARENTS as opposed to the son or daughter.
Uri, who worked closely with Eli Lebowitz, PhD at Yale (who developed a parent-focused treatment called SPACE–Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), believes developing and utilizing approaches to help parents will reduce anxiety and help children successfully launch independently. He feels these approaches overcome an obstacle to reduced anxiety: family accommodation. Family accommodation provides a shield to a child dealing with the real world, like when the parents order a meal for their young FTL adult because the he or she is unwilling to talk with the waitress.
Uri has completed a pilot study using SPACE for FTL, with 20 sets of parents being treated and another 20 not treated (“waitlist”). For the 20 FTL family members after treatment there was significant reduction in anxiety and other symptom severity, reduced family accommodation, and increased adaptive behaviors like getting a job.
Uri believes what he calls “dread”, an emotion similar to fear among parents, is very real and is a result of the hardwiring in the brain. However, he optimistically believes dread can be overcome to the child’s benefit, and will continue his significant research and therapeutic work in FTL as his dedicated career focus.
For those interested in learning more about Failure to Launch and SPACE, they can contact Uri Berger, PhD through his website www.uriberger.net or emailing him at uberger@montefiore.org.
To view the replay of the FTL Pathway Session, CLICK HERE.