On Monday, December 11, at St. Mark’s Church, our guest speaker Frank Bartolomeo, PhD, spoke on setting boundaries to promote recovery. Frank is s a nationally-recognized expert in mental health amd substance use. Frank has a private psychotherapy practice in addition to being the Founder and Director of the Well Center for Development, both based in New Canaan. In addition, he is Senior Clinical Adviser for Adolescent Services at Silver Hill Hospital.
During the session, Frank offered some background about boundaries based on his over three decades of experience. He stated it’s important that we acknowledge and accept our fears of utilizing boundaries, like “he’ll get angry”, “my relationship will “suffer”, she may retaliate, she may overdose, and he may die by suicide. Embrace those fears, and the guilt, says Frank. One point to recognize: you child has a higher power, and it isn’t you.
For those ready to set boundaries, start with the “baby NOs”. Example: “in two months’ time, you are going to be paying for your own phone”. Build on your success. Remember, your happiness is NOT going to be based on another person. It’s a fact.
See LINK HERE for good slides on things parents should consider when setting boundaries, and view a great YouTube VIDEO HERE. I am so grateful to Frank for agreeing to speak for, yes, the third time.